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The Emmy Clip (1:47)
One of Scardino's occasional assignments is to prepare questions for Colbert to ask during his nightly interview segment, the guests ranging from Nicholas Kristof to Kris Kristofferson. After perusing a guest's book or biography ("You get smarter—at least dinner party smarter," she says), it is simply a matter of crafting queries worthy of Colbert's obnoxious alter-ego. So when journalism professor Dan Sinker, the man behind a phony and fantastical Rahm Emanuel Twitter account, was a guest on the show, Scardino wrote this question for Colbert: "Why did you start this fake Twitter feed? Is academia that bone-crushingly boring?" And when Steve Martin appeared on an earlier show, Scardino made use of her painting major, putting the noted art collector's knowledge to the test. For instance, Colbert asked Martin to determine which of two choices was actually Ellsworth Kelly's "Green" and which was a Sherwin-Williams paint swatch.
But Scardino also gravitates toward what she calls "the borderline incredibly dumb things." Last November, she felt it was time for Colbert—"by the power invested in me by basic cable"—to pardon a Thanksgiving turkey for all crimes past, present, and future. Naturally, later in the show, the turkey (named Joseph Gobbles) went on the lam after shooting an intern in a drug deal gone bad.
Then there are times when happenstance leads to humor, like last December when Scardino was strolling through her Tribeca neighborhood and picked up a lost credit card. It turned out to belong to a partner at Goldman Sachs, a fellow deliciously named Buckley T. Ratchford. On the show a few days later, Col-bert held the card hostage, threatening to reveal one number each night until Ratchford appeared on the program to discuss exorbitant Wall Street bonuses. (Goldman Sachs's lawyers found it less humorous; the card was returned forthwith.) Although Scardino found the card, the comedy was developed via the usual collaborative effort. In fact, there are times when Scardino can't remember which jokes are hers. "Those are the good ones," Col-bert insists. "The best jokes, the best scripts, you don't know who wrote what."
As part of the writing staff, Scardino now owns two Emmy Awards. "They're sitting on my windowsill," she says, "intimidating the neighbors." After the first win in 2008, Colbert called the writers to the set while the cameras were rolling. He pointed to a teleprompter and said, "Guys, there are no thoughts in here. What the hell were you doing all weekend?"
Writer: "We were in Los Angeles. We won an Emmy for Best Writing for a Variety Series."
Colbert: "I did?"
Writer: "Well, we all did… "
Colbert raised his arms in triumph. Balloons dropped from the ceiling as he shouted, "I did it!"